Tag Archives: American Mind

Murder on the road to Mandalay

The Toll Keeper

“The Killer awoke before dawn…
He put his boots on…
He took a face from the Ancient Gallery…
and He walked on down the Hall…”
Jim Morrison

Someone must be punished
On October 3rd, 2017…Stephen Paddock rented two rooms at the Mandalay Bay Casino overlooking a concert venue. After hoarding an arsenal of weapons, two days later he opened fire on the concert goers below. The Mandalay Bay shootings were the most horrific in the history of gun violence. Some 59 people lost their lives and some 500 hundred others were injured by a lone gun man.

The only person close to him was an Australian woman, of Philippine decent by the name of Marylou Danley. A few days later Danley entered the United States and promised to tell all, vowing that she had no prior knowledge of such a plan, which was meticulous, and that she deeply mourns the loss of all those lives. She claims that she is innocent, and by all accounts seems to be a carefree person having no malice towards anyone.

Yet, While watching CNN yesterday a commentator swore that he was ninety nine percent certain that this woman is in some way guilty of something or other. And that he is nearly certain that her “guilt” will prove to be the key insight into this man’s motivation for shooting all those people. Someone must have helped Paddock…it was just too complex for one person to amass so many guns over thirty years..and to do this by himself? Someone else must have cooperated…someone else must be guilty.

But in reality it seems unlikely that any other person helped him. The woman seems to me, at least from this vantage point to be innocent. Perhaps she was the only one innocent enough to love a man this troubled.

As for the gun collection, and the planning and she being responsible for it in some way it would seem to me that the ordinary person cannot be expected to pry into other people’s affairs. Guns are legal, gun collection is legal, and unless this guy told the woman that he definitely intended to commit a high crime, there is no cause for hanging this woman.

Moreover it is quite possible for anyone to plan and execute an attack of this nature. Its easy actually. We are so used to conspiracy theories today that we cant possibly accept that some people are real good at killing. Real good at executing mass murder on a grand scale. But Someone must be guilty besides the shooter?

There was a certain vehemence with which CNN pursued this woman right after what seemed to be an innocuous statement by her lawyer, that in effect said she had nothing to do with all this and intended to cooperate in any way she could. CNN’s staff seemed to go ballistic, as if there was no chance that she could be telling the truth no matter what. There was no way she could be an innocent. As if someone had to pay, someone must be guilty, even if they were innocent. Someone’s blood must flow besides the killer’s own.

But this is not what a civilized people should want. They should not want blood for blood, innocent or not. If she is guilty of anything then she should be held accountable, but if not, then she should not in any way suffer for it. If she is innocent, she will suffer a lifetime as it is.

Guilt by Association
The reason I mention this at the beginning is because the manner of assigning guilt to dark events as this has some serious implications on our freedoms, and our moral obligations to the society we live in.

We should not be held automatically responsible for what people we know might do. No matter how heinous the crime. If you know a person, even intimately, and it turns out that you had no direct knowledge, or direct responsibility in the action then you are innocent. And must be presumed innocent. Doing otherwise will in effect make us all guilty by association.

Moreover, and more importantly, we should not be liable for not spying on our friends or countrymen. It seemed to me that CNN insisted that she had some kind of obligation to tell the authorities what Paddock was doing. But the truth is there are many people who collect guns in large numbers- wives, girl friends, daughters, brothers or sisters, or just friends and neighbors should not be in the business of ratting on their relations, even on suspicion. If I know someone who collects guns, it should not be up to me to “inform” the police. This is what would be expected in NAZI Germany, not in the United States. This is not serving the interests of freedom or democracy. We are not obligated to “Spy” on our fellow Americans, and we should all resist being goaded into doing so.

If in effect we are all to become liable for whatever crime someone we know commits, our freedom will be impinged upon, and sooner or later we will be living in a police state dictatorship where any failure to rat on our fellow American may become grounds for our own incarceration. If the woman Marylou Danley did not know directly what Paddock was doing then she would not be expected to inform the authorities of his actions. She cannot be expected to be a rat…even if not being a rat should have terrible consequences as in this case. She cannot be held guilty simply because she didn’t inform the authorities in the way the authorities, or the media demand retroactively. It would be an extremely dangerous precedent that sets our nation on the very slippery slope of constant surveillance and all privacy, and freedom would soon disappear.

The Archetypal Killer
Stephen Paddock was from what we can see now at least-only a few days after the event- an archetypal “Killer”. For whatever reason he was angry. Perhaps he had the gambling blues, perhaps he felt he was losing everything he ever owned and perhaps he blamed the Casinos, or society in general. In this lottery economy we are all either winners or losers, and if the latter, all of us will in some way be angry with the world.

Of course we are not supposed to murder innocent people, and lets make it clear- this is not the mindless point I am in any way adhering to. What I am saying is that our lottery economy is conducive to creating great, fantastic expectations that are more likely to be met with ultimate disappointment, than success(in large part due to general mismanagement of this society.) And I think this archetypal reason is the true reason that Stephen Paddock murdered all those people. He was simply angry at his luck.

The archetypal murder suicide “killer” as a literary theme in Europe goes back three thousand years at least. In Greek mythology, the stalwart hero Aias(Latinized Ajax) who defended the Achaean army in their most dire time of need, was so enraged in being denied the arms of the fallen Achilles that he awoke in a rage, went to the pen where the sheep were sleeping, and began to slaughter them indiscriminately. When at last the rest of the Greeks heard the commotion and found him, he realized that he was not killing his fellow Greeks, as he intended, but only sheep,and so he rammed his sword into his own heart ending his heroic life in shame and tragedy. The cause for the “hero’s” tragic anger was that he had great expectations followed instead by great disillusionment; and perhaps an underlying conviction of a perennial injustice in our society where cunning, and carelessness are prized over true devotion and loyalty. The arms of Achilles were ultimately awarded to the glib and cunning Polymechan Odysseus master of machination, the ultimate schemer who concocted the Trojan horse rouse by which the Greeks defeated the Trojans through utter treachery and deception.

The causes of such violence are often quite simple.
Murder, on the street is often spontaneous. A flash of violent anger. Although the Mandalay Bay shooter planned his violence meticulously, the ultimate psychological cause was relatively “simple”. Which is why no one can find a rational motive, as if its possible to find anything rational in this kind of violence.

Stephen Paddock likely wanted to “get even” with the casinos, and all those who support them. He may have resented the fan fare that surrounds the glitzy outgoing concert goers…feeling perhaps that he could never again be part of that carefree world, plagued as he was by isolation, disease and rage. This was probably the “real” cause of his actions- “simple” and perhaps needing little more in the way of psychological insight. This “simple” rage and isolation seem to be a common thread for all such high casualty murder suicides.

Nightmarish violence, the result of anger, isolation, and resentment long fomenting into a toxic disease of never ending rage which only “the end of all” can cure. Simple.

The Second Amendment
Fifty eight people died in this assault, and some five hundred others injured. There is again debate over the availability of guns.

Yet, we should know this…had the founding fathers been told that some two hundred people a year will die in this kind of violence, -or even a few thousand if we take into account urban violence- in order to guarantee the autonomy of the American people, it is unlikely they would be much moved. Freedom has a terrible price, and only in our day do we dare presume to be rightfully free of that cost, or feign pretend we are immortal and beyond account.

Today many think in curves that slither around corners and disappear behind large buildings. The founding fathers thought in straight lines.

The second amendment is meant to guarantee the sovereignty and freedom of the American people. Having an armed public makes it harder for any government to usurp the power of the people, and this is exactly why the second amendment follows the first: the right to free speech, followed by the right to fight for that freedom if the need arises. It is a kind of insurance. That in the event the government becomes too corrupt to allow for the choice of leaders the American people will have the arms necessary to overthrow that government. We should no longer tolerate the illusions as to why the second amendment came into existence, or why it has survived for so long. Why, even today, there are so many supporters for it. The second amendment guarantees that the American people will remain free under any circumstances, even if violence against the government becomes, in the last resort, necessary.

This is a key difference between the American people and their European cousins. The revolutions in Europe never quite did away with the sovereignty and absolute authority of government. The American people chose instead to guarantee the absolute sovereignty of the people. And this carries with it an awful price…for nothing comes without cost.

Militias may serve to anchor gun owners                                              Before advocating for a general ban on gun ownership we should consider that cars kill tens of thousands of people a year, yet no one would think to ban the use and ownership of automobiles.

Yet it is true that too many people die in these horrific acts of violence. Too many innocent people die in gun violence, too many suffer the life long aftermath.

The key may lie in the wording of the second amendment, “a well regulated militia”. Perhaps we should accept the legality of ordinary people having a weapon or two to protect their property, and the lives of their loved ones at home, but should require that having access to an arsenal of high powered weapons requires a more general authority. Perhaps only those who are members of a private, legally sanctioned militia should have such access. If Mr. Paddock had been a member of a militia it is likely that someone would have noticed what he was doing, someone would have intervened, someone would have questioned him because someone would have had some co-responsibility. Access to an arsenal, even gun collection should require the co-responsibility of a well regulated militia and membership within such a militia.

Moreover the rise and sanctioning of such militias can have great benefits for the nation. It would provide a means for the American people to organize, and to pursue their political objectives and rights. It would involve more people in a common cause. We should note that the majority of “shooters” are loners, even when they are a couple as the pair in San Bernardino. These two, although claiming they were shooting for the cause of ISIS seemed rather to be two very isolated people acting out in anger. Perhaps this archetypal “aloneness” can be alleviated by requiring affiliation in a private militia.

In this way the second amendment would be served, and the risks of indiscriminate violence minimized. Such militias could also help to police the state in some auxiliary fashion. Had for example a private militia had been present at Mandalay Bay, it would have been far more difficult for a lone shooter to kill so many people without receiving return fire from the patrolling militia. Such militias can in some way ease the burden on the local police forces, and make them far more efficient.

Of course we may one day have a “Militia” problem, but it would still be better than to have illegal gangs in their place, as is now happening.

Belonging to a group in many ways addresses the problems of isolation and lawlessness. Militias could act more like organizations once evolved, concerned not with just guns and arms, but also with the well being of the nation. They would in effect take a private responsibility for the health and protection of the national order while minimizing the potential destructive effects of lone gunmen or gun collectors..

Be it said here that if the founding fathers intended by the statement “well regulated militias” they would mean an army, or navy, then they would have clearly said that. They knew what an army was, and knew what a navy was. What they wanted was a people’s army, a state army  that would be hard for any external power to usurp. This is one reason it took so long for the American nation to develop an official army and navy. The founders knew that these will almost always lead to some corruption on some level. They intended a people’s militia as a balance to the government’s authority, and as a fail-safe in case corruption rendered any government oppressive and inflexible.

The price paid
Today we attribute such violent murder suicide events to some shallow cause or other. But in reality most of these killers, whether they kill for no apparent reason in a mall, or in a school, or even as “inspired” terrorists have causes that are most likely primordial in nature. People deeply disappointed with the outcome of their lives, and with society, and perhaps too proud to accept the fate they have been given.

These killers are archetypal incarnations of grievance. Of incurable anger and dissatisfaction.

They are in some ways, the “Tax man” and the “Toll Keeper” of our society. They are a price we pay for our freedom, folly, and our lives.

You can gloss over these phenomena as being only random aberrations of psychology  but these killers are what goes “wrong” with our society on a regular basis, and perhaps one of the “tolls” collected by our social order. Its been this way since the beginning of civilization and is unlikely to end by any elementary changes.

There is a price for freedom, and occasional violence of this nature may be part of it.  A natural occurrence that is in some ways never to be completely  avoided no matter what we do.

Post Script:
P.S. I am not here making heroes of these people, do not misunderstand. But if ever we are to mitigate their effects, we must have some real sense of what they are. White washing these events as being merely aberrations attributable to some shallow political or religious cause or psychological circumstance does not in the end do justice to the phenomenon. To say these killers are “mentally ill” may be true for example,  but it gives no usable information as to why they are “mentally ill”. Why are they so “Mad”? Knowing this cause is important. Perhaps seeking solutions on an “individual basis” is simply not enough. In effect they may actually be a naturally occurring phenomenon inherent in the overall primal nature of human social order.  They may not be an “individual” occurrence that can be addressed on a case by case basis  but a general malady that must be addressed on the societal level which will be far more complex and difficult to contain.

Pazuzu’s Playland , Iraq, and Syria


All in good fun
All in good fun


In 1973, Hollywood produced its best scary movie ever. The movie was based on William Peter Blatty’s novel “the Exorcist” and had as its subject sensational demonic possession. The story line went something like this: a little girl in an affluent house of a famous Hollywood actress was supposedly possessed by a quite vigorous, violent, ancient demon and it was left up two priests to exorcise  him from the girl. The demon’s name was Pazuzu.

He was supposed to have his origins in Africa, but was actually worshiped by those ancient people who once inhabited Iraq and Syria and they imagined him to be brought to their lands by the southwest wind, the bearer of disease, and famine, which would have come out of the Sahara from the perspective of the believers.

In the movie the Demon apparently had a long standing grudge with an old Jesuit priest, Merrin, for having exorcised him out of a little boy years ago in Africa; and so with revenge in mind, Pazuzu possessed a very young and innocent American girl now living in Georgetown, USA. some thirty years after the original encounter with the excorcist. The purpose for this new possession was to call the old priest back into a test of wills, good vs evil, virtue vs corruption, innocence vs perversion, and all that jazz. Needless to say his “infection” of the little American girl was quite brutal and quite salacious. At the time the movie was released, the American public, not yet exposed daily to the devilish humor of the comedy channel(cable tv not being available at the time) found the movie quite horrifying and “psychologically disturbing”. Vomit, and hysteria frequently accompanied each showing.

Millions flocked to see this movie, and most were deeply affected by its stunning psychological assault. The nuanced allusions to psychotic illness and extreme depravity, along with “supernatural” effects combined to make this movie – by most accounts- the most frightening movie ever made – even today the movie still holds this title, though it seems to elicit hysterical laughter as the most common response these days. Times have changed-thanks in large part to the comedy channel.

So much has changed that it often seems as if the demon Pazuzu has become a popular figure in our pop culture. He’s no longer viewed as vile, corrupt, or even evil, but kind of real, alternative, and quite plausible. In some places, even an anti-hero, an advocate of human discontent of sorts.

The movie is in a way quite prophetic when you think of it. The evil spirit lives and works in Iraq and Syria originally, but soon after manages to infect the soul of an American family. What more prophecy do you want?

Is this not what happened to us with our involvement in the Middle East over the past one hundred years? Have we not brought upon ourselves an evil spirit that keeps us fighting pointlessly in places like Syria and Iraq, and Lybia, and Afghanistan, and Iran and Israel and Palestine, and so on and so on? Have we not now managed to bring a plague both on the people of those lands, and on ourselves in the process? And to what ideal can we really attribute all this effort in the Mid East to but greed, malice, delusion, mockery, and defilement of our most sacred principles? Is this evil self abuse not what the wars in the Mid East really come to? Can we ever leave these wars behind? No! We are possessed, against our will no less, since the majority of Americans want no part of it really for it does not in the end profit the American ideal of individual liberty and self determination, yet here we are decades later still involved in this evil ritual that are the wars of the Middle East.

To what other spirit could we attribute these abominations if not to Pazuzu? As we wage murderous air wars over what are in the end defenseless people abused and disabused by our “superior” civilization- which most sacred Idol could we point to that would be more fit to honor these pursuits than an ancient middle eastern evil being of plagues? Instead of bringers of light and wisdom, we have become a plague upon these people! We have become a veritable curse upon these people of the Middle East!

Moreover foreign affairs are so vile and ugly overseas, that one cant help but see the awful coincidence between Pazuzu’s supernatural evil and what we are now seeing in Iraq, Libya and Syria and most other places in the Middle East. We are both possessor and possessed by evil perversion and delusions of grandeur and privilege.

Although we are sheltered by our well meaning benevolent media, in reality the horror of these wars is quite gruesome, quite supernatural, awfully acute and psychologically disturbing. As millions of people are blown away, millions starved to death, and millions made to wander the earth homeless and desperate, and forsaken while they curse fate, and God himself for having given them such misery; and all the while, just a short distance away in Europe, there is prosperity, peace, and plenty. We see a real plague in the Mid East these days and its as if we have raised a monument to this lord of the shit flies, in the personage of this hollywood popular personality that is the Demon Pazuzu, a spiritual lord of pestilence and disease.

In fact, this “sentiment” seems to have gone, viral, even universal. The movie, and its lead character, Pazuzu have been exported to just about every place on Earth. Many of these nations now make their own movies in his image. And when it comes to the Mid East, its as if all the major powers of the Earth, and all its people and religions have shown up at Pazuzu’s temple, in Northern Iraq to fight like wild dogs in heat. The prize this time instead of a little innocent girl’s body and soul, is now oil, natural gas, and power, and the final object of the contests is which of these wild dogs at last gets the bitch; but still the hatred, violence, pure evil, dire omen, and putrid stink, rotting body parts and gore are all there, just as in the movie. There is nothing “natural” about any of this. Its all quite “supernatural”, so much so, its almost phantasmagorical!

Sure this war was, and is about oil and gas, Russia, and the US and the Sunnis and the Shiites and Israelis and Palestinians, and Kurds, Turks Iraqis, Iranians and Libyans, ; colonialism, imperialism, capitalism, and nationalism, and greed and malice and all; and yes all these wars are about ancient hatred, and primal emotions, and grand delusions, and horrific bloodshed and injustice, and endless centuries of reckless desire and endless disparagement of human ideals…yep that’s true, but they are also a tremendous “hey there” to the Demon Pazuzu as well. This never ending war is a real tribute to that demon of the evil winds, the locusts, the plagues, the shit and the blow flies. For this war promises to be a an everlasting plague upon the Earth as it will probably ignite the European bon fire soon enough, even as Ukraine lies in wait. And from there, perhaps a species ending global holocaust in a third flamingly hot, radio actively sickening world war. Its as if the entire world is living an evil spirit that’s come to possess us all, and in some way or other we’ve all managed to let “Captain Howdy” into our living rooms. Much like the George Bush administration’s second war on Iraq which was actually televised on prime time. As if it were the movie of the week.

The future seems ripe for this Lord of the winds and plagues to conclude in one world ending Huracan of complete corporal ,moral deprivation, and devastation. Oh yeah there are proposals for peace, cease fires, agreements and a whole lot of other bull shit, but in reality the situation does not seem likely to change any time soon enough to keep the poor young priest from being possessed himself by the spirit from hell and then   murdering the innocent little girl and jumping out the window in one last vile act of self destruction, and self condemnation. And he will be condemned by all when he winds up at the bottom of the long stairs, with his head pointing to hell.

Soon enough, we might all come to feel we’re living in a real scary movie.

But in the meantime we can all see how frocks, pulpits, priestly robes, yarmulkes, sacred texts, shorn beards, Mohammed, Jesus, Abraham and Moses are all stripped naked and made to run in the dessert sands of the Middle East shouting all sorts of unspeakable obscenities at those others who are less sacred, less chosen, and less preferred by each respective chosen deity of worship.

Yes there are those few remaining “exorcists” who still have some real true pizzazz left, not yet corrupted by greed, glitz, and vanity, but these stalwart souls are few and far between. Most of them are digging up dead civilizations trying to resurrect the good old and sacred dead only to find they are forever battling the relentless evil, degenerate winds of the present. And they are losing the battle, for their own  possession is only getting worse.

Its interesting to see little children blown to bits, innocent human beings burned to a crisp, body parts all over the place, and the unending stink of infernal death wafting gently over whatever it is that remains after each successive bombing or raid or incursion has concluded(for the sake of “civilized” society, of course.) But we must ask at last to what spirit, what deity can all this abomination really be dedicated to? In whose name are we doing all this?

Its interesting to think how each and everyone of the actors in these wars defiles some sacred pact with their God, how each dutifully justifies their own atrocities while firmly accusing the other of murder, debauchery, and terrorism. The Demon grins, laughs and spits all kinds of funny vomit as the merry show progresses. Pazuzu’s laughter can be heard all over the world as all his suppliants gather for his happy festival in Syria and Iraq. Each of the gleeful participants willing to defile exceedingly, and more so than the other in unrestrained fealty to the evil star-crossed, winged being, now a popular movie star personality.

Judging by our present leading candidates, the merriment can only grow. Few politicians can resist a visit to the awful party, it seems.

When it comes to the Middle East, neither Priest, nor Pastor, nor Rabbi, nor Imam, nor president, prime minister, premier nor King nor Queen, nor common man, nor woman, or even child can resist dedicating a dark corner somewhere in their church or temple or stately building or palace , or home or hiding space secretly devoted to this supernaturally malignant,  mocking being. In every shadow his personage appears, in every daily compromise with each moment of silence he makes his way, ever defiling, ever deriding, ever corrupting whatever “Sacred” orifice he can find. And in every orifice, he places a seed that will only grow. And everyone of these obeys, humbly bows, makes the sign of the goat, and lays itself prostrate before this most malevolent mercurial spirit each time they remain silent for fear of monetary retribution or media backlash, or social chastisement. For in the end, the only real defense against the Lord Pazuzu is that they must either stand together against him on pure and moral principle, or be singled out by him and there destroyed one by one in the shadow of their own abode.

And in the end, their flocks will have little faith in them but much for the demon. A demon is far more colorful a public figure than a holy man, or any political leader – in most cases.

The United States having trespassed on the demon’s ground twice, in Iraq, now feels it may have to go a third time to defend its gains, yet each visit, another guarantees. The Muslim Royalty, having their wealth usurped seek to protect it by any means necessary, the Jews their sacred Israel, the Christians their Jerusalem; and the Russians, their soft underbelly and Southeastern flank, the United States its money, and Europe its “honor”..the Shia their integrity, the Sunni their superiority, the Kurds their little fire, Assad his legacy, the Turks their inheritance, Iran its history, and Iraq its legacy….all good reasons I’m sure. But each of these must pay the devil to get what they desire, and gleefully they do.

I’m sure there are millions of parents, priests and politicians over all the world who must honestly wonder why their children are into “Black Metal” and “Satan’s Music”… well “you need not wonder why there is no time left for you”. Children are actually quite smart, in most cases smarter than their parents, and quite a bit more honest. Somewhere they caught on perhaps to all the vanity in the mirror, to all the excuses given, to all the bestial dispensations in the theater of utter monstrosity that is war. And somehow they feel the need to justify their society, justify its actions to themselves, live with it so to speak(perhaps even to justify the actions of their own parents.) But how? And then perhaps slowly they realize darkly that there is one path for them to take, and for many, its the only path that’s left for them to take, and so they do, and then they have acquired their “wings”.

As the war in the Middle East gains fury and strength( and believe me it will) the Lord of the Shit Flies will corrupt all before him:  all faith, all conscience, all reason, all restraint, all ideals, all principles, all volition, and all excuses, and all these will eventually bow to his desires as the ever increasing number of blow flies consume the ever increasing number of corpses and spread all consuming corruption over all lands and all seas, corrupting both air and earth, matter and soul.

Unless of course, somewhere out there there is an Exorcist still worth his frocks, and still having some stale cloudy holy water left to toss on the Paz;  somewhere in the cavernous bottomless dark abyss of Morea. Of course he(or she) will need to be quite popular, and it’ll be difficult to match Pazuzu in popularity. The Paz is a bonefied Rock Star! But if we shine enough light on this wondrous, mighty, evil fly, and make enough noise, and shout him out, he just might just be satiated, get sleepy and go back to the shadows, and give us some peace, at least for awhile .

We often hear in television commercials  that what happens over there, stays there and maybe it is true for Las Vegas ;  but this is not true of Iraq and Syria. One day you too might hear some vague noise in your attic or your basement, or in some dark corner of your home, and you might think its just rats, or squirrels, or vagabond raccoons, but soon you may find your daughter or your son, your little brother, or sister, or your very closest companion just made a fantastic new friend whom you will come to know, intimately! And then life will imitate art.

What Me Worry?

Uncle Sam
You’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re in good hands.

There is Much Fear in our Country..but why?

Recently it has become apparent that a growing number of people seem to be unduly worried about events around the world and in the United States particularly. There has been a constant badger in mostly minor, seat of their pants media outlets about the possibility of the entire world order spiraling out of control. There is ceaseless talk of total catastrophic economic collapse , and of the possibility of complete social disorder, chaos, and infinite violence. There has even been talk of the very real possibility of world war, words not heard since Ronald Reagan single handedly subdued the late great Soviet Union with the threat of space weapons, and advanced smart bots. Although the main stream media is not so inclined as to alarm the American people-for what would be the point of scaring their customers when all the media really wants to do is sell them stuff? Still the once soft spoken fear mongering murmurs in the shadows have now become more like the shouts of hoards of mad people raging in the middle of the night during a really bad storm.

For this reason we think its time to look at the matter of world stability with a more sober eye for reality than is presently being promulgated by the “edge of psychological stability” community.

Lets first admit the facts so that we are clear on what needs to be considered:

Yes, we do owe monstrous amounts of money. As others have mentioned before the debt is really closer to 28 Trillion dollars than it is 18 Trillion. If we count state, local, and the Federal Reserve Debt, then the 28 Trillion dollar figure is way closer to reality than is the 18 T . Ok, so far so good.

But how was that debt created? If not for a push of a button it really didn’t need to exist at all. Someone at the Fed merely pushed a magic button and trillions of dollars appeared out of nowhere. Now to some that’s alarming, and indicative of the end of the economy, but its not. These people saying its something to worry a wart over are just scaredy cats. Afraid of things that go bump in the night.

We have Infinite Credit

Here’s why we shouldn’t really worry about the debt:

Think about it, if the Fed can press a button and make Trillions of dollars appear out of thin air, what’s to keep them from doing it again? Ok we owe 28 trillion dollars, but the Fed can just press another button and we can owe fifty, sixty seventy a hundred trillion dollars. Its just a button that needs to be pressed is all. No biggie.

Yes yes yes…its true numbers like these are scary to some of our political minded clucks out there and yes they will screech about how this is “dangerous” and “psychotic” and “impossible to sustain” and all that, but in reality it isn’t. Its just a button, press it, and we have way more credit and we can pay off any debt we need to pay in the interim. Just borrow more and pay your debts.

But some disconcerted few ingrates would say that the global economy might not be in the mood to see more credit coming out of the United States. They may be afraid of infinite quantitative easing and the like causing an eventual currency collapse. But this is not something to worry about.

As long as we can pummel any nay sayers with our infinitely more powerful military, everyone will be assured in our “system” and we can make ever more money, we can have the Federal Reserve buying used sofas if we need to. Besides, as any Harvard graduate economist will attest to, its the only way we really have to increase the money supply, after all our whole economic system is based on credit, and debt…and no this should not be interpreted as a “flaw”. No its genius, actually. We can forever increase the money supply, credit, and debt as long as we have the military presence of mind to back it up. Which is why its important to have a strong and violent military, and imaginative reasons for using it against unruly terrorists, and backwards thinking populations.

As they say, spare the rod, spoil the children.

Debt- now you see it, now you don’t

But ok, there are still some fools who think that one day the bottom will drop out and we’ll actually have to pay for all this debt. Then they go on to caw, cluck and bray that we might not be able to pay back all this debt.

But here’s the truth, and this is very important to note: just as we can press a button to create the debt, we can just as easily make it go away.

What’s to keep our media, and financial sector from gently nudging our democratically elected leaders into declaring all debts are now forgiven? I mean its easy to do. Whose going to argue about not having to pay their bills?

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is already leaning in that direction even now, and who knows, he might actually become our next president with a great idea like that! So many voters already understand the value of such innovative thinking.

All it would take is one button, and the ability to enforce the push. In an instant all US debt can be nullified. No more debt. No one owes anything to anyone! No more headaches. Problem solved!

As long as the hammer exists, who in their right mind is going to argue with such a practical solution? As we all know, sometimes brute force persuades even angels to sit down and have a drink.

But then the worrying sort will belch a retort like “what then, what happens when all debt is forgiven?” and no one knows what they can do to keep the economy going? This too is easily solved: Just lend more money from scratch! And while we’re at it, massively redistribute credit and debt! Everyone has brand new fresh money from scratch. The economy roars back to life! Problem solved again!

For example lets say you owe five hundred thousand for a brand new house you just bought. You didn’t have the money to pay for it, and were wondering how you and your entire family was going to live on the street. Then suddenly a new president with “flexible ideas” declares all debts null and void. Suddenly you don’t owe anything at all! You’re free, the house is yours for nothing. End of story. Happy days are here again!

Oh you might say but what about the poor bank? No problem. They will have no worries either, because they wont owe anything to anyone either! “But what if they don’t have money to pay their employees, or maintain their big buildings, or live the life of rich and famous bankers?” the poultry nay sayers will ask. What then?

No problem, the Federal Reserve pushes a button again, and the bankers suddenly  have more credit than they can imagine! The Federal government issues itself gigantic amounts of new credit-from the newly renovated banks- and provides for a national stipend to everyone in the nation. Suddenly that poor family that was about to lose their home now has a small sum to keep them going while they work. Just that easy! Cant be done? Actually in some ways it has been done already. It just needs to be done with even more conviction next time. Problem solved-again.

Now the really clever chicken clucks out there will point out that foreign nations may not be willing to accept the “Magic Money” coming out of the Federal Reserve this time. Wrong again. The Global economy will just do the same exact thing! They too will simply press a button-except for shmucks like the Greeks who were stupid enough to give up their right to print- all the rest could simply press a button, with our approval, of course, and voila, trillions of yen, trillions of Euros, trillions of British Pounds, trillions of Chinese Yuan, trillions of brand new Rubles appear out of nowhere to save the day! Problem solved, again and again! And the Chicken Clucks go back to their hens!

Yes, all this can be solved with a push of a button. Button creates problem, button solves problem. No worries.

Negative Money is Positively Ingenious

Now The concept of “Negative Money” associated with Negative Interest scares too many people, mostly because they are not progressive minded enough. Negative interest rates recently proposed by the Federal Reserve can mean a good thing. It would mean that if you lend someone ten dollars for example, they could give you back nine and you’d be squared! It would mean that your bank would now pay you to borrow money from them! Europe is already doing this! You get paid just to borrow money. How great is that? All you’d have to do is borrow money and make a good living!

It could also come to mean that after working twelve hours and getting paid you can then take that negatively charged money to someone and ask for a product, like a bras for your new girl friend. But instead of getting a bras, your money only gives you the right to work for the boutique. Therefore you work a little more, maybe a few hours, and then you get your bras. But without your negatively charged money, you wouldn’t have the right to work at all! Brilliant! Can you imagine all the increased full employment we could experience?

Or, if as you’re walking down the street you find a twenty, or hundred dollar bill on the floor-and there will be plenty of those floating all over the place-and you pick that bill up and go to the store to buy something. But instead you are told that your hundred dollar bill gives you the right to work at the store, maybe as a sweeper, or  shelf-stocker. Suddenly your good luck in finding a hundred dollar bill would mean that you are now employed! No agencies, no headaches. Automatic employment.

It would mean that instead of having to pay someone to clean your house, they would have to have to pay you for cleaning your house! Think of all the people you could eventually hire and become rich no matter how you invest your Negative Money!

Negative Money is one of the great concepts of our time! Why should money always be positive anyway? The world is made of both positives and negatives. All this while we were cheating ourselves and didn’t know it. Now we can use money in the other direction. Instead of it being merely credit, it can now be debt as well.

Yes it is difficult for some to grasp the concept of negative money, I can understand why, so lets try one more example that will make it clearer to you.

Lets say you are paying your mortgage off( assuming all debt is not dismissed by Bernie Sanders) well that would mean that each time you pay your bill instead of seeing your mortgage get smaller, it would get bigger! Think about that! What a novel concept. You would then receive a notice from the bank asking you to come in and do some form of labor in order to cover your increase in mortgage. Possibly clean desks, mop floors and the like. But you would have a job. Instead of sitting around drinking beer on Sundays, annoying your family with some useless football game, you could go out and do some real work for your bank, and thus slowly, very slowly, pay off your mortgage!

But better yet, and here’s the true genius of negative money:  you could simply skip the payments and it would pay off itself! The longer it stays unpaid, the more money the bank will owe you! You wouldn’t even have to work since you wouldn’t actually have to make payments for your Negative Money Debt. You could stay at home and collect on your mortgage debt-so long as you used Negative Money, instead of the old Positive Money as a down payment on your new house!  Instead of working, you could do other things more important to yourself and your family.

Imagine the added productivity that Negative Money might create! No worries here either.

World War Three could also be a Blessing

Now, the clucks will not so easily give up. No, they’ll continue to look for downfalls and doomsdays, and all that jazz. They’ll say the world is being destabilized, violence is everywhere, weapons, guns, missiles and death and all that. They’ll mention Russia, Ukraine, China, Japan, Korea, Pakistan, India, Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Venezuela, Columbia, Israel and Africa and go on and on until they run out of breath and turn blue in the face with warnings of imminent military conflict.

They’ll madly whisper cryptic anecdotes about how all these wars are being orchestrated by the “merchants of Petra” and that its all about some mountain of effusive Myrrh that was found at the bottom of the Mediterranean sea. And how this is all about reestablishing the ancient “Spice” route from Petra to Constantinople and then into “Europa” all the while putting the evil Scythians out of business…..and forever expand on insane anachronistic paranoiac conspiracy theories like these.  Meanwhile most people don’t even know what Myrrh is, or what even the word effusive means. And as for Petra and Constantinople? What are these people even talking about? These cities don’t exist anymore. Too much History channel I say. And as for Europa? I thought that was a moon around Jupiter! And on and on they’ll go about how “dangerous” the world has become because of Scythians, and Mongols, and Carpathians etc etc etc.. and most people don’t even know what they’re talking about. Useless nonsense.

They just don’t get it.

These fears, even if there is anything behind them are easily solved with more military might, and the imminent threat of extreme violence. Remember, we do have Nukes, and they’re just sitting there gathering dust, as leading presidential candidate Donald Trump has already probably realized! I mean a business man would ask “why did we build those things if we didn’t intend to use them?” and we know he would be right. We have too much invested in those weapons to just let them sit there and rot, so, if we have to, we would just be making good on our investments. Something a consummate business mogul like Mr. Trump must have long ago realized. And as we can see he’ll probably be our next president. So we do have solutions if we need them. Again, no worries, be happy we have those killer weapons and we will probably enjoy using them, possibly even spawn new industries after we’re done. Decontamination may one day become a big business, something investors should be eyeing even now.

Now as for Vladimir Putin, leader of the present Russian Federation, affectionately known as “the Vlad”-or “meine Vlad” as German leader Angela Merkel is often heard to whisper- being a danger to world stability, a war monger, and possible world destroyer? No way because he’s a “Reformed” former KGB agent. He’s no longer to be compared to former Soviet leaders who once wanted to rectologically eviscerate the planet Earth, but is now a far more mundane sort of world leader much more prone to compromise and good humor than to unlimited unadulterated violence, and Nuclear Holocaust. He is not as some worry warts keep saying, some kind of “Ivan the Terrible” incarnate. No, he’s actually a very warm soft spoken, gentle human being who is down to Earth and really cares about his friends and partners. I once read that he prays for world peace every night, and attends church every Sunday. He’s a kind hearted, simple man who only wishes to make friends of enemies and family of old “friends”. If he’s angry now, its only because Barack Obama has refused to be the kind of friend the Vlad expects him to be. Obama has at times been a little distant and cold hearted although otherwise a great world leader.

Now it is quite true that there is some concern in Russia about the possibility of another deluded psychopath from the west attacking the Russian people for no apparent reason other than to kill off their population and take their land, as sadly was attempted four times in recent European Russian relations. Yes the Russians did lose forty million people in the last two world wars, and yes they were the hopeful target of nuclear annihilation in the now over “Cold War” but times have changed and they know that!

Today the Russian generals and politicians understand that there are plenty of medications available for those in the west afflicted by mass homicidal delusions of grandeur. Most of the West is covered by all kinds of social health programs, and anyone needing stabilizing medicine can usually receive it for nothing more than a small co payment. So there’s less concern of psychopathically deluded leaders emerging from Europe.

However there is some concern about Obamacare, and the possibility that those who need strong psychiatric medications may not be able to afford them, and that these somewhat unstable people may possibly attain high office or great influence in the Western world.
The Russians and Chinese have their own particular breed of clucks and  hairsplitters. They sometimes say “its easy to become a ‘leader’ in the West, as long as you can appear on a comedy show and be funny you can lead the world to war.” But there’s no proof that funny people who appear on American comedy shows are necessarily dangerous or unstable. And most Chinese and Russians know this.

Yeah, if a nut did attain power in the west, this could lead to an increase in Russian or Chinese mortality rates.

But, we all know that those in high places can easily afford whatever medications they need, and there is little possibility of wildly deranged people reaching a point of vast influence and power in the United States or Europe. The Russians are well aware that our medications are far more advanced-albeit more expensive than whatever they have there. So there’s really nothing to worry about. The Russians know we mean well these days. They are not going to strike out in fear or anything, and no, just because they have a lot of nukes and make them in all sizes does not mean they’ll use them in the event of an accidental skirmish. Ok they don’t have as many options as we do, and would be tempted to go Nuclear quickly and all, but our friendship and good intentions is bound to win the day with the Russians and Chinese. No worries there.

Yeah yeah yeah…cluck cluck cluck…oil and debt, middle east, supplies, gigantic debts, oil price spikes, currency collapse, energy embargoes, world war and all the other cluck, but there are  no real worries here.

The Russians and Chinese love our music and our culture too much to be our true enemies even though they sometimes pretend to be for domestic appearances.

North Korea is in the house

Even the North Koreans are into the “hood” culture so popular in the United States and Europe.  Kim Jong il recently invited former basketball player Dennis Rodman for a visit. And Kim Jong and Dennis actually “chilled” as they say. They became the best of friends and soul mates over a basketball game.

In fact the South Koreans were so impressed with Dennis Rodman’s visit to North Korea, and the welcoming warmth he felt from young Kim Jong , that they actually set up some gigantic Boom Boxes on the North Korean border. They thought the North Korean people would enjoy some music from the “hood”, playing twenty four hours of “Lil Kim” at five hundred watts(so that everyone in the North could enjoy.) Well as anyone whose passed  by the outer boroughs of New York City will know, too much of a good thing all at once can be a little disconcerting and cause us to get carried away with our weapons; and so the North Koreans did fire a few salvos into the South and well,there was a small misunderstanding and so called political crisis, but now its all resolved and everyone is looking forward to the day when brotherly love will prevail. The North Koreans know their place, and are slowly warming up to our way of life.

We are conquering our would-be mortal enemies with our great personalities.

Yes so there is no worry here, only progress towards a more “peaceful” coexistence.

..And what If we did have to Nuke it out with Russia and China?

Now if we really had to use nukes merely for persuasion, well, we could still manage. As we all know there are secret agreements between Russia , China and the United States that limited Nuclear war is not only manageable, but possibly even advantageous.

Should for example a nuclear war be needed for the sake of global peace, all the rest of the world can be bombed while avoiding direct conflict or engagement between the main actors. Yes this would not bode well for Europe, Asia, the Middle East, Africa, South America or even Australia and New Zealand. But after it was all over, the United States Russia and China could rebuild the entire world anew and to their liking. As any real estate tycoon will tell you, its easier to demolish and then build, than to refurbish an old infested building.

In the event of an unfortunate and purely accidental nuclear conflict between the major powers, the entire world would become available for re-population. Yes there would be cleanup, and it might get a little cold for awhile, but that  would only inspire new industries.  And  global warming would warm things up again in a few short decades. And after that the populations of the United States(now much larger than before thanks to open border policies) and the populations of Russia, and especially China would be more than enough to repopulate the Earth, or what’s left of it.

Some have even begun to think that the real reason the United States is taking in all these immigrants from all over the place is so as to create a kind of “Noah’s Ark” and gain a population advantage, just in case a lasting peace must be attained through the use of global  -decisive but limited-annihilation. The good thing in a well controlled finely tuned nuclear war is that there would be far more Americans left proportionally to the remaining world’s population than there are now! Imagine the influence we could attain then!

Do Not Fear our Presidential Candidates!

Ok, there are some distorted disconcerted views around the world, and inside our own good country concerning the caliber and competence of our presidential candidates. But this insecurity is misplaced, and the reason is quite clear. These are probably the best presidential candidates we have ever had!

But there is so much negativity out there that the average voter might just miss the true talent that our present presidential candidates really have!

So many cruel and unusual statements have been made about Donald Trump the front runner in the Republican lineup that there ought to be an amendment against such verbal abuse.

Well what can we not say of Donald Trump? He is a very successful businessman, an accomplished man, a real talent, a media personality, ubiquitous. Donald Trump is a very rich , vociferous and forceful man who  gets his way all of the time.

Falsely accused of having some bad business deals and going bankrupt,  he actually managed to sell off his losses before the Atlantic City casino business collapsed!

The “Donald” as he is fondly referred to by his friends, managed to evade all those losses at Atlantic City by sheer cunning and his “deal making” talents. Yes there are those who say that those who were stupid enough to actually buy his failing businesses were screwed out of billions of dollars etc etc etc….but as Mr. Trump is fond of saying they “deserved it”! And those who were foolish enough to actually buy his failing businesses were certainly “not nice people” as he has often pointed out and they certainly deserved what they got for their folly! After all they were very greedy and they believed Mr Trump when they bought his failed businesses! Serves them right I say! When dealing with a powerhouse like Mr. Trump, you need to keep your wits about you at all times. And if you don’t and wind up getting taken, well that’s too bad, you should have been “wiser”. Business is no place for the meek, mild and innocent. There’s a “sucker born every minute” saith the great W.C. Fields!

There is so much viciousness against Mr. Trump that its really quite unsettling and so unfair, as he will often say to himself. Often his critics will say things like “his hair weave must have grown roots inside his head” or “his hair weave is made of Teflon that grows both ways and affects his mind” and other such cruel comments. I think Mr. Trump looks quite handsome with his new gold platinum hair . He certainly looks better than if he had been bald! I don’t know how far down the hair weave roots might have gone or if they’re made of two ways growing Teflon, but I don’t think its affected his mind as some vicious people continue to claim without scientific foundations of any sort. Besides Teflon is some sort of metal, how could they make it grow anyways? All probably lies and mean innuendo. I think his detractors are so vane! And obviously jealous of his success and prowess.

As for his so called “attacks” on “poor” Rosy O’Donnell? Well what can we say. She accused him of being a beady eyed condo salesman. He accused her of being old , bad tempered, and physically violent and lacking any kind of talent, and of not being very attractive to him. Certainly there was a reason for those attacks by Mr. Trump. Too often she would bring up the idea that Mr. Trump wore cheap wigs in order to look attractive. But Mr. Trump is attractive! Comedian Mindy Kaling recently confessed that she would kiss the Donald for two hours straight, and even have his baby, if only she could have that chance! And there are many other young women who feel the same exact way, I’m sure.

That sexually alluring sneer that so many women find attractive is certainly nothing to sneeze at! And his new hair coupled with his bold new political media orgasmic presidential campaign is quite sexy. Even while they argued you could easily see the attraction between Fox interviewer Megyn Kelly and Mr Trump. Sexual attraction cant be hidden by a made up news script! In between the accusations and thinly veiled attacks on each others privacies, you could easily see that Megyn Kelly was leering at him, overwhelmed by his attractiveness.

Even CNN moderator Jake Tapper could not fail but show his true admiration for the Donald. You could easily see that Tapper longed to have the talents of a man of Mr. Trump’s stature all of his life.

As for what he can actually do as president, if elected? Mr. Trump is a man who knows the economy. He knows how to create jobs, he knows what this nation needs to have done to it. He has all the right connections and real knowledge of the way this nation is really run-or should be run-by him! Knowing a few mindless concepts learned in school means nothing, but knowing dirt , grime, machinations, and slick maneuvers that keep the economy going is how you really create jobs, and get people to work for you, productively.

Mr. Trump knows those who  have real talent in this nation and how to apply that talent. For example he’s the only one of those candidates who can have dinner with Loyd Blankfein on any given night. As we know Floyd “da Banksta” Blankfien -as he is affectionately and admirably referred to in the boxing community- is an extraordinarily talented man who understands the usage of the economy better than anyone. Mr Trump who often mentions Mr Blackfien as a benefactor, friend, and mentor will be in a far better position to apply Mr. Blackfien’s talents and genuine insights than any other candidate.

The Iron truth is that Mr. Trump would make a great president and a great world leader! He would take our nation into a brand new dimension that even Barack Obama couldn’t match.

As for all the rest of the candidates? Well there’s Hillary of course. She has talent she doesn’t know what to do with really. She is just as capable of being president of Sweden, or England, or Nigeria as she is of being president of the United States. Her talents are frankly “limitless”, crazy almost,  and she would make a very difficult opponent for Mr. Trump. Its not likely she would defeat the “Donald” in a head to head election-after all he’s an established media personality, and she is not at all liked by the media- but perhaps Mr. Trump could give her a job too, possibly make her secretary of state again, only this time without all the controversies, or the little blow up in Libya. Or perhaps she might run for the senate again in Alaska, or become governor of California. Or she might choose to run for president in Russia, or China. She could actually win there and reduce the need for us taking military risks. She has great talent, that’s for sure.

The Email scandal? Look she was married to Bill Clinton, its quite understandable why she wouldn’t want people looking at her emails. Would you? A small scandal like that is nothing to stand in her way, she’s overcome much worse in the past. She might even become president if Mr. Trump were to drop out for some pressing business reason. Once president she would prompt a Revolution to be sure.

As for the others? They are all quite talented. Bernie Sanders would, if he were elected rightfully distribute all the debt to not just the rich, but the poor as well. Why should only rich people pay for our debt? That way after the poor paid for the debt in part, they too could be given enormous credit and live happy productive lives as well. In fact they could be given credit first, and then asked to pay for the debt. If by that time they’re unable to repay, someone else could pay for it, or just have the debt cancelled. Its all good.

“Humble” Mike Huckabee  would bring God back into our lives.  And this is probably going to be a good thing as we will all need to hold on to some kind of hope in the near future, by the looks of things. Liberalism has progressed far too much, and personal liberties must always be tempered by religious doctrine in order to be of value. Some say he might cause a pandemic of rampant alcoholism if elected, but I just don’t see the rationale behind these fears.

Dr Ben Carson being a trained Neurosurgeon knows how to cut into people’s brains and remove malignancies. He might have the ability to rehabilitate our congress and add more substance to our media- and improve the rest of our lives as well. He has been accused of being a little too subdued, “creepy” and somewhat “strange”, even by Donald Trump. But in reality there’s an extraordinarily violent dynamism just below the surface of his personality, and we can all sense that.  A man so skillful with a knife would know how to cut taxes better than any other candidate. Not having any political experience he would not be so easily removed from the task, like others might. No history of political or organizational experience of any kind could be a true blessing here.

And Carly Fiorino too is a tremendous candidate. Why are so many people attacking this wonderfully talented woman? She managed to survive the destruction of Hewlet Packard, and is now actually running for president! How many other people could do that? If she could survive what happened to Hewlet Packard, whose to say what she could do with our nation? She is a talented forceful woman who would make a great president, and world business leader- and could survive, no matter how badly things went.

So we’re in good hands. Our presidential candidates are probably the best candidates ever. There should be no worries here.

Our Immigration “problem” can become someone else’s

There is also this constant nagging about illegal immigration and the danger that it poses if not “solved”. But the truth is that all of our candidates have wonderful ideas about how to solve this stubborn little problem alarming the American public.

Take for example the proposals of Mr. Trump. Yes Mr Trump has spoken ill of Mexican illegal aliens and the like. Yes he has called them “rapists, murderers, and free loaders and generally undesirable” but he really didn’t mean it that way. He has proposed deporting up to twenty million illegal aliens and the like and yes that would be very difficult. Its true they might take up arms and attempt to kill us all before they go, but the truth is that once the process of deportation is perfected we can deport just about anyone.

Why stop at twenty million illegal aliens when we can continue to deport all “undesirables”? If the process is perfected, and rightful force is used properly in the process we might be able to deport millions more that we don’t need here! Twenty, thirty, fifty, one hundred or one hundred fifty million undesirables could then easily be deported all over the world.

Even if we keep our borders open, we can keep deporting!  All we’d need to do is learn to target deport to the right places. Using our military we could potentially colonize most of the known world with our own people! Americans , who even though they were deported would still have allegiance to our own nation-once an American, always an American. Anyway what choice would they have? Having been kicked out of our nation, they would naturally aspire to be one of us so as to prove their worth eventually. We would have attained hundreds of millions of ex-patriots all over the world in just a few decades! We could in this way conquer vast continents that have so far been difficult to manage using just brute force and unmitigated violence! Trillions of dollars in new wealth could be obtained! This is the kind of true genius that Mr Trump represents. Admittedly no one else has come close to matching his proposals.

Now other candidates are far less creative than is Mr. Trump, but still,  Marco Rubio has bright ideas too. Why not just let everyone into the United States and then hire all of them to work for peanuts? That would certainly reduce prices for those who still have money to spend!  Marco Rubio has also proposed that we become a nation of multiple dialects, and many tongues like the tower of babble for example. In this way no one would feel left out. Those who say the tower of babble was a curse of God don’t understand that we are the United States, and can do, and will do whatever we want to do. If we choose to speak a different language on every block, every town, city, or state, we can do it if we want to! We have great portable translators, and this would be great for the retail business -this alone would stimulate the economy.

Bernie Sanders has proposed giving every new arrival a vast education, free housing, free medical care, and a car. It would only cost ten or twenty trillion dollars that we really would never have to pay back-since he would dismiss the debt, but think of all the productivity this would generate in the interim! Genius if ever there was one! Even Pope Francis would approve.

The immigration problem does not have to be a problem. Used the right way, the open door policy  could be the best thing that ever happened to our nation.

Ahhh…my dollar is shrinking!

Now there is also this constant jibber jabber of an imminent currency collapse among the neanderthal- backwards looking-intelligentsia.

Look, a currency can be anything at all. It can be gold, silver, “favors”, performances, plain stones, rocks, or even just a number on a computer screen. If our currency fails, we can just as quickly create another one.

For example Comedy is booming in our nation. Some of the richest and most powerful personalities in the media are actually comedians. There is some serious talk of turning comedy into a national currency. Tell a great joke, get a service for your joke. The better the joke the better the service.

Jokes can now be rated as well. A good joke or comedy routine can now be stored as a sound byte, and even rated for real value. The better the comedy routine the more one’s currency is worth! Instead of paying people with hum drum old dollar bills we can instead use wild sensational comedy routines for payment. We can therefore sell the rights to these comedy routines as well. We can exchange comedy routines with our friendly economies around the globe. If the Japanese can create funnier personalities than we do, they would have a more valuable currency. Their jokes would buy more than ours etc etc etc.

As for those who aren’t funny, and only know how to perform hum drum everyday tasks, like pilot airplanes for example(most pilots are not much known for their radiant personalities, except for John Travolta of course), still they would have to attain the currency rights to good comedy routines! Therefore after flying a jet airliner across the pacific for sixteen hours, pilots would then be paid in stored comedy routines. Using those comedy routines they could easily pay for their rent,  car,  boat, or whatever it is that pilots use in their spare time. Very hard working pilots could even take private Jet trips to far away places and let someone else do the driving, maybe even John Travolta, if they have saved enough comedy currency to pay him with. He would be expensive.

We could create comedy banks at the Federal Reserve. Just hire people to do “funny” things and then exchange goods with those routines. We could lend out comedy routines to banks, who would then lend out those routines for much more than they borrowed them for, just like “real” money. We could even “print” comedy routines. Just credit a bank with large amounts of comedy currency, and then have some poor funny shmuck make it worth something with an actual comedy routine.

So you see even if our currency were to collapse, there would be nothing to worry about really. We could always just make another one! All it would take is a good joke.

So as you can see , in short, the world is safe no matter what happens,  and no one should believe its all coming to an abrupt end no matter how dark it looks outside. Good humor, a confident attitude, and a refusal to associate one’s self with negative, backwards leaning, morose, dire looking people who refuse to evolve will ultimately make the Sun shine again! No matter what happens, the Sun will shine!

Post Script:

Please stay tuned for my next post which will be entitled “Je suis Yoplay”…the personal tragedy of a soulless, sour little milk curd once insidiously yet insistently disabused by its mother but who was destined to triumphantly become one of the great social critics of our times.
Jonathan Bartholomew Boots